Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
