I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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