It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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