I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
