you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
