He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
