She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize