i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
