He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
