Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
