benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
sex in a hospital.. check
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
