I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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