I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
