So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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