Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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