well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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