So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize
