Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
