She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
