there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
