Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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