I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
