If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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