sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
