a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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