I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize