WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
