This is not my ceiling
My balls are so social today.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
