haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
