My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
