I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
should my penis look like a turkey
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize