The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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