Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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