i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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