Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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