just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
