I wanna bring you to show and tell
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
