do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
