I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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