There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
