Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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