Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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