She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
