we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i think im in europe. pls send help
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
