Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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