CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
