She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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