Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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