how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
