Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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