Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just gargled with NyQuil
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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