this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
