My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
