matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
