This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
