Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
