Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
