He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So apparently I’m into choking now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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