Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
