I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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