I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
