How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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