I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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