she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize