Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize