Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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