i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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